Limbo

For more than a month now, I have spent my Friday and Saturday nights clubbing. I actually don't know why I keep on doing this when half of the time I'm not really having fun and I'm in no mood to "meet" people whose names I tend to forget the second after it was mentioned. I think it's a waste of money, time and a good pair of sandals!

Just now, I came from another clubbing spree with a few bucks lighter, a sore pair of feet and an alcohol-induced uncomfortable feeling but as I thought it over, if this can make my troubled and lonely friends vent out their frustrations in life and feel lighthearted afterwards, then I'm willing to go through the same boring pattern over and over again.

Every Friday and Saturday night is de javu. I's been like clockwork. At 9pm I begin to get ready. I'm out the door by 10 and inside the club by 10:30. I start my night by ordering a drink the minute I arrive. After a few round of drinks and drumming along the beat of the music, I start to dance (I guess, this is the only time of the night that I'm really enjoying... when I'm dancing!). This goes on until around 2am or when I think that my friend(s) had enough to drink. This would be my queue to drag them out and hit the door fast before they start pouring their hearts out in the middle of the crowded floor. More often than not, I get to lend them my shoulder and a pair of ears along with a packet of tissues.

I don't know why I'm surrounded with friends here who are laden with woes (It makes me miss more my carefree friends back in Cebu). I thought I was over the "relationship" problems when I decided to stay unattached. I guess, you can never really get rid of it completely. You are either in it or surrounded by it. Although I'm only a spectator this time but it still bugs me. Worse thing is I don't know what I can do to help. I guess, that is why even if I'm stuck with this useless way of spending the weekends, I will still continue to do so just to accompany my friends on the lowest point of their lives.

Sometimes, when I think about why I keep on turning down the prospect of a relationship is because of this. Seeing my friends so broken and down is enough to last me a decade.

I really hope that they are going to pull themselves out of this limbo fast before my body breaks down from the constant clubbing or worse yet become totally jaded on my views on love.

Postscript:

Hahay! LOVE. It's Heaven and Hell combined.