Keeper of my Heart

After all the disappointments and broken promises

After all the hellos and goodbyes to the men I had met

After all the never ending fun and games in my life

And after all the waiting for that One person... 

....He finally found me

He, who with a few words can warm my heart

and make me do silly things I thought I cannot do

He, who can make me smile for nothing

and filled me with joy when he said, I love you...

He, who was able to make me anticipate tomorrow

and made me feel complete in heart and mind

 

And he, who came with a heart in his hand and says,

"I have yours here.....I guess you have mine..."

We were given two hands to hold, two legs to walk, two eyes to see and two ears to listen but why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else....for us to find.

A Chance on Love

We start as strangers living life on our side of the world
Then one day on a game of chance, everything unfold

It began as a simple greeting of ‘hi’ and ‘hello’
A lot of things about each other, we still don’t know

Yet still we meet at the same time at the same place
Silently hoping to discover you more in little ways

As the days drag on, I slowly seek your presence
From the moment my day begins until it ends.

I tried to brush the unsettling feeling it brings
For I don’t want to admit that to you I am falling

But each passing day brings us deeper to an unknown
A circumstance that we cannot solve on our own

So we laid all our cards and opened our hearts
Hoping that it won’t bring our day to part

The mere thought of saying goodbye brings me ache
Deep inside the core of me, I felt something break

But then you said the words I long to hear
Words that mirror everything that I feel

So now, in your hand I trustingly put my heart
eventhough I can't see you for we are far apart

But I will patiently wait until the day you come
A day when you take my hand and say ' I'm here, hun..'

P.S. ......."Presence means more than just being there..."..........

My Journey...

I find myself in this humdrum routine
Making me ask, ‘what does this mean?

Is there something that I must do?
Or do I just have to follow life through?

I found myself on this crossroad again,
Should I go right, left or forge in?

I really don’t know where to go…
And I don’t know what to do…

But I realized, no one is beside me
To tell me how and make me see

I guess, I’m all alone on this journey
The journey to find I, myself and me…

Welcoming Chinese New Year

To celebrate the coming of the Chinese New Year, we decided to indulge in booze. So, eight carefree and lovely girls got dressed to try out the newly discovered haven for women, Double O Bar, where every Wednesday is a Ladies Night event with an array of free-flowing drinks to choose from. The joint did not indeed disappoint us. We got drunk and danced the night away!

"...cat-like smiles courtesy of Vodka, Cocktails and Bourbon"

After waking up with a sore body and a splitting headache late in the afternoon, we agreed to spend the first day of a four day 'holiday' in the spirit of a Chinese New Year. And what better way to spend it is to go to the heart of the Chinese festivities, Chinatown! We roamed the streets and ate 'Satay' at one of the food stalls that lined the streets. To us, it seemed like eating in Cebu's famous 'Larsian'. The only thing missing is the popular 'dicer'. After feasting, we proceeded to Orchard to watch a movie. We debated on what movie to see with all the different choices to choose from. In the end, 'Kung Fu Dunk' by Jay Chou and Chen Bo Lin won our vote, not because it has a good storyline but because the actors are damn hot! (Well, what can you expect if the viewers are predominantly female?) The movie fit well with our light and joyous mood and a great way to end the day. It sent us girls into a fit of laughter interrupted with adoring ohhs and ahhs every time a close-up of the hotties flashes on the big screen. I guess, it doesn't hurt if we pamper our eyes to a delectable piece every now and then.

"... on our way to watch a movie"

All in all, our own celebration was a welcome break from the everyday fast and busy lifestyle. Although we've went to bars, ate at street food stalls and watched a movie dozens of times before but on this day it was different for, to us, it wasn't the activity but the bonding that mattered.

" Chinatown at its best! "

Gōngxǐ fācái !
Kung Hei Fat Choi !
Congratulations and be prosperous !

A Christmas away from Home...

I was in deep slumber when I heard a shrill sound (No, it wasn't the jingle of the bells on Christmas Day but my hand phone ringing). My best friend called me up to remind me of tonight's itinerary. It's Christmas Eve.

I hurriedly went out to do my last minute shopping. We are celebrating tonight at another friend's house along with other fellow Filipinos who wants to enjoy Christmas in the atmosphere that we are used to, inside a Home. It has been a first to most of us gathered there to spend Christmas away from our family. There was a mixture of sadness, melancholy, anticipation and excitement.

"on the street at the strike of midnight"

By 11pm we went to attend mass at the nearby church which ended us on the street by the stroke of midnight. We haven't even realized it was already Christmas until we glanced at our watch. The street was pretty quiet. There were no lights that illuminate from inside of houses.
Where are the people? I guess, they were either asleep or outside partying.

I got an SMS greeting from my Singaporean friend so I asked her how she is spending her Christmas Eve. To my surprise, she replied, "We don't celebrate Christmas." That made me clearly realize that I'm not in the Philippines. And as I watch my friends talking on the phone with misty eyes, I can't help but wish I was back home. I miss the hustle of cooking the Christmas feast, the excitement of everyone in opening their gifts, the blinking of Christmas lights everywhere, the constant playing of Christmas songs, and most of all the loud and beautiful display of fireworks that encompasses the night sky.

our humble feast...

We still celebrated Christmas with the traditional exchanging of gifts and a feast on the dinner table(albeit minus the lechon!) I guess, we have to make do with what we can and what we have but still there is no place like a Christmas at Home...

Postscript:

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Love's Complexities

Recently, I found myself surrounded by the overwhelming bittersweet effects of a grand emotion we call LOVE. Mind you, I am not directly involved in it.

It has already been an almost daily happening to find my friend in tears or in a state of zoning out from reality. I could somehow understand the inner turmoil that she is in now for I am not an amateur on this situation but seeing her going overboard and slowly destroying herself is too much for me to comprehend the logic in her actions. I do know we are only humans and thus are susceptible to weaknesses and mistakes. Based on my understanding of Love, it can be a person's weakness or another person's strength. It only depends on how you let it rule over you. I guess, my friend has made it the center of her life for when it came crashing down, she went with it.

For me, LOVE is neither good nor bad. It can be a strong motivational factor or a pillar to ones success if used properly. Many say that LOVE should be unconditional and infinite. Most say you should love with all of your heart to be able to grasp the happiness that it brings but does that mean you should love him more than your life? Does that mean you should pour all your capacity for loving on it? How do we know the right way of loving someone? If there is even a right way. When do we know that the emotion we perceive as love has unconsciously turned into poison that slowly eats up the soul of our being? I guess if you are not directly caught up in it, you might be able to spot the slight changes but for the person involved, it might take them a while or probably never. For when you are too occupied with the present and has the shadows of the past, you don't have time to look beyond (or some people just refuse to do so).

LOVE is like a double edged sword. It is bittersweet. It is Heaven and Hell. I can go on with all the adjectives but the bottom line is --- LOVE is inseparable to PAIN. If this is the case, the best we can do is to try to lessen the pain Love brings. How? It all depends on you. All of us have different ways of coping with pain.

Considering all these, I go by a principle. "LOVE UNSELFISHLY" then you will still be able to feel happiness amidst all the pain for in shedding our selfish nature will we be able to love more and appreciate the beauty it brings.

Postscript:

LOVE is too grand an emotion. It is too complex to decipher and understand thoroughly.

So, let us just welcome it, embrace it and feel it!

It's one of the things that makes us Human!

Cheers!

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Limbo

For more than a month now, I have spent my Friday and Saturday nights clubbing. I actually don't know why I keep on doing this when half of the time I'm not really having fun and I'm in no mood to "meet" people whose names I tend to forget the second after it was mentioned. I think it's a waste of money, time and a good pair of sandals!

Just now, I came from another clubbing spree with a few bucks lighter, a sore pair of feet and an alcohol-induced uncomfortable feeling but as I thought it over, if this can make my troubled and lonely friends vent out their frustrations in life and feel lighthearted afterwards, then I'm willing to go through the same boring pattern over and over again.

Every Friday and Saturday night is de javu. I's been like clockwork. At 9pm I begin to get ready. I'm out the door by 10 and inside the club by 10:30. I start my night by ordering a drink the minute I arrive. After a few round of drinks and drumming along the beat of the music, I start to dance (I guess, this is the only time of the night that I'm really enjoying... when I'm dancing!). This goes on until around 2am or when I think that my friend(s) had enough to drink. This would be my queue to drag them out and hit the door fast before they start pouring their hearts out in the middle of the crowded floor. More often than not, I get to lend them my shoulder and a pair of ears along with a packet of tissues.

I don't know why I'm surrounded with friends here who are laden with woes (It makes me miss more my carefree friends back in Cebu). I thought I was over the "relationship" problems when I decided to stay unattached. I guess, you can never really get rid of it completely. You are either in it or surrounded by it. Although I'm only a spectator this time but it still bugs me. Worse thing is I don't know what I can do to help. I guess, that is why even if I'm stuck with this useless way of spending the weekends, I will still continue to do so just to accompany my friends on the lowest point of their lives.

Sometimes, when I think about why I keep on turning down the prospect of a relationship is because of this. Seeing my friends so broken and down is enough to last me a decade.

I really hope that they are going to pull themselves out of this limbo fast before my body breaks down from the constant clubbing or worse yet become totally jaded on my views on love.

Postscript:

Hahay! LOVE. It's Heaven and Hell combined.